I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We need to get me chipped asap
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
