My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
