Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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