last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
