I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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