Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
