what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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