He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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