She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
