I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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