so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I still have a little drunk in my system
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize