What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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