Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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