So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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