so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And then my night got REAL pukey
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
