It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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