I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
