Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
