Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
