He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
