So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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