Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
