By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have already put on my inside pants.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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