The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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