I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
