we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
