he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
