Sponge bath it is.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Randomize
