i don't like sucking hair
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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