then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize