it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
