i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize