My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize