Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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