What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
