Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Acid is not a monday night drug
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
