The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize