Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
