Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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