That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
