Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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