We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize