She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
