i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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