your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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