Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
