If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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