What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
