Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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