i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
