It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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