Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
