official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
