the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
