so that wasnt chicken after all
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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