No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
