i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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