Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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