Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
