6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I will be naked everywhere
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
