I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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