Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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