pedialite and red bull = repair kit
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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