then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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