Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize