i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
