I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He did a backflip because drugs
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