Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
