Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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