We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
