38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
