Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
