that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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