Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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