My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
