Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize