barbara walters just said penis...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
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